Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
