i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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