Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
