I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
