it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
