He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize