you didnt know i had herpes?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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