I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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