I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
