we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
