i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You are the jesus of drinking
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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