the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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