You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
