she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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