i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
