You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Less talking, more tequila
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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