I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
