I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
