I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What a dumb baby whore.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
