I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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