At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
