smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
