if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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