i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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