I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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