dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
