i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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