We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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