So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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