You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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