So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
