Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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