Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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