you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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