so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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