i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
