the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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