Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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