after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
