Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
pray to the hookup gods
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
