When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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