It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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