So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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