David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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