he wants to bone in the snuggie
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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