i barfeds in our rink
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
