Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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