i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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