he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
