I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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