just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize