if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
