she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
