I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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