p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
