just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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