Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
