I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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