We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize