big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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