I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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