so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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