jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
