So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
